A Troubled Mind
by TheLightBeforeWeLand
Summary: Having to go to work with your mother is not what most teens would want to do during their summer vacation. This feeling is definitely justified when said mother works in a mental hospital, and on the first day you witness a girl completely freak out and then try to kill you a few hours later over a bracelet. Yeah, this summer surely won't be forgotten for one Tsukiyomi Ikuto.
1. Chapter 1

** A Troubled Mind**

* * *

"Hurry up some people have places they need to be!" My mother yelled as she honked the horn. I groaned and rested my head on the window. It was way too early to be dealing with this. When I heard the horn beep again, I turned to her.

"Mom, I doubt doing that will help. Just wait it out." I said.

She looked at me. "Don't even Ikuto, if you and Utau hadn't woken up late I wouldn't need to rush. You two knew exactly what time I have to be to work." She looked back and forth between me and my sister through the rearview mirror.

I heard my sister scoff. "It's seven a.m. on a Saturday; most people are used to sleeping in on them and not having to wake up to go the loony bin." Wrong choice of words. You see, my mother worked at said "loony bin", and she didn't appreciate people using terms like that to describe the place or her beloved patients.

The traffic ahead of us began to move up and my mom started driving again. I was surprised she didn't snap at Utau for that remark. We drove in silence for the next few minutes until we pulled into the parking lot of the psychiatric hospital my mother works at. She put the car in park, and looked over at the both of us.

"Now you two listen here, I want you both to be on your best behavior, got it? I don't want to hear either of you say things like 'loony bin' or 'psychos' or some other cruel term." She said sternly.

I just shrugged, and Utau scoffed again. "It's not like either of us wanted to be here in the first place, you know." She said as she got out of the car. And that was true. Our mother brought us along with her to work because she wanted us to do something useful this summer, and apparently interacting with a bunch of mental patients fall into that category. I rolled my eyes and opened the passenger door with my mom following.

Her warning obviously wasn't done because when we reached the front, her hand lingered on the door handle. Sighing, she turned back to look at us. "Listen, I know this isn't your idea of summer fun, but please just-"

I cut her off. "Mom, its fine." I said as I walked in. I vaguely heard her mutter "I hope so." under her breath.

Before she could say anything else, a nurse walked up to us. "Good morning Souko!" She said far too cheerfully for this hour. She turned to Utau and me. "Oh, you must be Souko's children, I'm nurse Yukari." She didn't give us a chance to respond, and turned back to our mother. "Can I please talk to you for a moment, it's about Hinamori." Yukari said, and all the cheer seemed to vanish from her voice.

I noticed my mother's eyes darken as she nodded. "Utau, Ikuto, why don't you two go to the cafeteria while I talk with nurse Yukari, okay? I know you two didn't get a chance to eat breakfast this morning." She absently said to us before walking off.

"Wonder what that was about?" I said as they walked into a room, which I assumed was an office belonging to one of them.

Utau shrugged. "Who cares? Do you know where that cafeteria is? We haven't been here in forever."

I rolled my eyes. "We were here last winter, and this place as signs showing you where to go, you know." I began walking in the direction of the cafeteria, which wasn't even far.

"Shut up." Utau said before she started following me. "I can't believe we have to spend a whole day here." She groaned.

"I hope you don't plan on complaining the whole time we're here." I said as we approached the cafeteria.

Before she could respond, a crash came from our destination, followed by someone yelling, "Hinamori!"

"Isn't that the patient mom and Yukari were talking about?" My sister asked, but I didn't answer. I walked up to the cafeteria and looked in. Inside there was a girl with short, choppy pink hair being restrained by two nurses. The girl was kicking and flailing around and trying her best to get her wrists out of the nurses' grips. On the ground was an upside down tray of food. Utau gasped when she caught up and saw what was happening.

One of the nurses was trying to calm the girl down, but she was failing miserably as the girl started screaming and cursing at her. I heard footsteps running towards us and I turned around and saw my mom. She didn't even glance at Utau and I as she marched straight into the cafeteria with a worried looking Yukari on her heels.

Yukari said something to the girl that was inaudible to me due to all the screaming, but whatever it was sure didn't help. My mother put her hands on the girl's shoulders and began speaking to her. The girl slowly started to calm down, but she had a glare on her face. She had gone from freaking out to looking pissed. Mom continued speaking to her, and made gestures towards the spilled tray of food on the ground.

The nurses eased up their grips on the girl, which she used as an opportunity to rip her arms away and storm off, angrily.

Right in our direction.

Utau's eyes widened and she tensed up, but the girl paid us no mind as she kept walking with clenched fists, Yukari was on her trail. Mom came out next, "Make sure she gets back to her room!" She called out, and turned to us.

"What was that about?" Utau asked.

"None of your concern, now go eat." Our mom sternly said before following Suu and the girl. "Meet me back in my office when you're done!" She called from over her shoulder.

Utau and I stood in silence for a few minutes as our brains processed what just happened. "Well that was something." Utau said and looked at me.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Do you remember where mom's office is?" She asked, but I didn't answer. I noticed a charm bracelet on the floor and picked it up. The charms were in the shapes of a heart, a spade, a clover, and a diamond.

Utau snatched the bracelet out of my hand. "Was that already on the ground?"

Was it? I just shrugged and she put the bracelet in her pocket. "We can take it to the front desk later. Now, can we please eat?" She said and shoved past me to go into the cafeteria that had quickly calmed down now that that girl had left.

At the time I thought that little incident in the cafeteria was the craziest thing I'd ever see at that place, and I also thought that would be the last time I saw that pink haired girl.

I was so wrong on both accounts.

* * *

I marched quickly and angrily down the halls of the stupid hospital, trying my best to ignore Yukari and her frantic calls for me. I glanced over my shoulder for a second and scoffed. The stupid nurse was in high heels, barely keeping up with me. I walked faster until I saw my room. When I opened the door, another hand shot out and closed it. "Amu?" I heard that sickeningly sweet and overly concerned voice ask me. No need to turn around, it was obvious who it was.

Instead of responding, I tried to open my door again, but she closed it. I groaned and turned to her. "What." I snapped, but I didn't really want to. Souko was one of the few workers in the psych hospital that I could actually tolerate, and, though I wouldn't want to admit it, I didn't really like disappointing her, which I was more than sure I did back in the cafeteria.

She wasn't at all fazed by me snapping. She just looked at me with that stupid disappointed look on her face. "Dear, what happened?" She asked.

I turned back around and faced my closed door. "I don't feel like talking, and you're not even my counselor, so stop being so concerned about me and go bother one of _your _patients for a change. And let me into my room." I spat. She sighed and moved her hand from my door, which I quickly opened.

Right when I stepped into my room and was about to slam the door in her face, she looked at me with sad eyes. "Can I trust you in there, Amu?"

Through gritted teeth, I said, "Yeah, whatever, now goodbye." And with that, I slammed the door and sat on my bed. _"Can I trust you in there?"_ I bitterly mocked, knowing exactly what she was referring to.

_That's how the people here are, Amu. They claim they trust you, and act all supportive, yet the moment you flip out they assume you're going to do something bad to yourself when you're alone._

I nodded my head in agreement at Suu's voice.

_That's right, Amu. You simply cannot trust any of these fools. _

Miki.

_And that's why you did good back at the cafeteria. Who knows what those people put into your food. You were right to not eat it._

Ran.

The voices always understood. They always got me. They knew as well as I did that I didn't need to be locked up in some mental institution or whatever it is people like to call it.

The voices looked out for me. They made sure I was safe and that none of the people around me caused me any harm. They knew who I should trust and who I shouldn't, so I trusted them wholeheartedly.

But sometimes they were too commanding. They would sometimes talk me into doing stupid things, or hurting myself when they felt I needed punishment, the latter was normally courtesy of another voice who hadn't spoken yet. But it was okay because they were still my friends, and I knew I could always trust their judgment.

I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. It was only morning, yet I was exhausted after having to fight off those nurses who Ran had warned me slipped something into my breakfast.I was slowly drifting off into sleep when I heard a fourth, normally silent voice speak up.

_Amu where's your bracelet?_

Dia.

* * *

"_Off she trots to the psychiatric hospit…_

_All she's got is a memory of a girl who used to laugh a lot_

_Now she's very angry 'cause they said she's lost the plot_

_And she's laughing in the mirror at her paper dress_

'_Cause she has a troubled mind, a troubled mind."_

_Troubled Mind by Marina and the Diamonds_

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**Please R&R and tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry if I got any information wrong about any illness I mention. I'm going off of information from the internet, and since most of them said the same thing about the disorders in this chapter, I'm assuming they were correct. If I am wrong, please tell me otherwise and I will change it immediately. **

**Please enjoy! **

**Chapter 2**

"So, how's your day been so far?" Mom asked us as she took a bite from her sandwich. It was around noon and we were in her office watching TV. The day hadn't been so bad, actually. Utau and I got a tour of the place, and we met some of her colleagues who had all seemed nice enough.

"It's been cool." I said as I ate a few chips. Utau nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, this actually isn't so bad. Your patients are pretty cool, too." Oh yeah, mom introduced us to some of her patients, and they honestly seemed normal enough to me. "Is that pink haired girl one of your patients, too?" She asked curiously, referring to the girl we saw that morning in the cafeteria.

Mom shook her head. "Nope." She said casually as she took another bite.

I raised an eyebrow. "Then why'd you come in the cafeteria to help her this morning?"

"And why did Yukari want to talk to _you _about her when we first got here?" Utau inquired.

Our mom sighed and took a sip of water. "She's," She paused, as if trying to find the right words. "Hinamori is Yukari's patient, but I sometimes work with her, too. So, I guess you could say she's technically my patient, as well."

Well what was so complicated about that?

"But," Utau began, obviously confused. "Why do you work with her, too?"

She got this look on her face, as if she were contemplating whether she should answer or not. Normally when Utau and I ask our mother questions about her work, she'd say things like "I can't answer that" or "none of your business" and, my least favorite: "that's confidential." Seriously mom, you work for a hospital, not the government. She had this faraway look on her face for a few more moments, until she finally spoke.

"Well, sometimes Hinamori can be a bit much to handle, so I help out every now and then."

"Does Hinamori even like Yukari? I mean, she's her patient, but she seemed to listen to you a lot better than her." Utau was always just filled with questions.

She shook her head. "No more questions, my break's over, so you two can hang out here and watch TV, or something." She said as she gathered up her trash.

"Okay." Utau said, and I just shrugged.

After mom threw her trash away, she said a quick goodbye and left to continue her work. We sat in silence for a few minutes, when I noticed something sparkling in my sister's hand.

"You still have the bracelet?" I asked.

"Yeah, I almost forgot about it. Let's take it back now." She suggested, and tossed it at me.

I looked at her. "Why are you giving me this?" I asked as we walked out.

"Oh, by 'we', I meant 'you'. You're the one who found it. I'm gonna go pee." She said and then walked in the opposite direction.

Okay then. I just shrugged it off and began walking towards the front desk, which was on the first floor; I was on the third. When I got to the elevator, I saw it was full, so I decided to take the stairs.

That was my first mistake.

As I walked down the first flight of stairs, I noticed that the lights were dimmer in the small hallway I was walking through to get to the next flight, which kind of creeped me out. I also noticed that there was a small chance I was being followed, which most definitely creeped me out before I realized that of course other people used the stairs, too, so why be worried? It was only when I noticed that the other person's footsteps were very light, as if tip-toeing , that I started to feel creeped out again.

Just to make sure this was all in my head, I stopped walking. So did the other person. "Hello?" I called behind me, and noticed a shadow moving back up the stairs, trying to get out of my view. "Anyone there?" I asked, and walked up a step.

There was my second mistake. Out of all the horror movies I've seen, I should've known that you never address or approach danger. No, when you're alone on a dark stair case and you hear strange noises, you get the heck out of there, not approach it or speak to it. This rule most certainly applies to hospitals. Man, those hospital horrors are the worst. Why'd I take the stairs again? I'm not sure where my head was that day. I think a part of me believed it was Utau.

No one answered, though I did hear some breathing and I saw the shadow move a little. I also heard a quiet growl. Yeah, stairs were definitely a bad idea. I stepped back and turned around. I had decided to just continue walking, I mean, I _was _almost to the last flight anyway, and this was a hospital. What was the worst that could happen?

Oh yeah, I could be tackled down the stairs and almost get killed.

Spoiler alert: that's exactly what happened.

I didn't even see it coming. The footsteps never even started up again, the figure behind me just jumped on me and we both went tumbling down the last few stairs. Before I could figure out what had happened, two hands were around my throat, but they weren't choking me, just holding my neck.

"What the-." My eyes widened when I saw who it was. It was the girl with the choppy pink hair who had thrown a fit in the cafeteria that morning. Her honey gold eyes were staring down at me coldly, and her soft hands were threatening to tighten around my throat.

"Explain yourself." She said harshly, but at the same time her voice was somehow soft and gentle. Now, had we met under different circumstances I probably would have found the girl to be pretty cute.

Snapping out of my thoughts when I heard another growl, I looked at her confusedly. "What are you talking about? And get off me." I shoved her off a bit harder than I had intended, but couldn't really bring myself to fill bad considering she stalked me and tackled me down the stairs.

When I stood up, I offered my hand to her, but she glared and got up on her own. "Where is it? We saw it!" She shouted.

At that point I was even more confused. "What?"

"The bracelet! I saw you put it in your pocket up stairs! Give it back!" She was nearly in hysterics, and it took me a second to remember why I was even on the stairs in the first place before I caught what she said.

Bracelet? I reached into my pocket and held up the bracelet. When Hinamori saw it, her face brightened up and she grabbed it out my hand. Before she could accuse me of stealing it or anything, I quickly said: "I found that this morning and I meant to take it back to the front desk, but I kind of forgot until now. I guess you dropped it when you left the cafeteria."

She looked at me and stepped back. "You saw me this morning?" She said defensively.

"Uh, yeah. In the cafeteria when you, uh- you know…" I didn't quite know what to say. Lucky for me, she knew exactly where I was getting at.

She smiled sheepishly. "When I fought with those two nurses?"

I snapped my fingers. "Those are the words!" I smiled and she smiled back. She didn't seem so bad.

"So," She began. "Are you here visiting someone?"

I shook my head. "Uh, no. My mom works here. I'm sure you know her, Souko Tsukiyomi?"

Her eyes widened. "Oh, wow. Yeah, I know her." She looked down, and things got quiet.

Thinking of a way to break the awkward silence, I spoke without thinking. "Earlier you said 'we saw it'. Who's we?"

And that was my third mistake. Seriously, Ikuto? Asking a person in a mental hospital that question? She was most likely referring to voices or something, and now she was probably gonna flip out and attack me again.

At least, that's what I thought. Instead, she just very calmly said, "The voices in my head." and then she seemed to have shrugged it off in favor of examining her bracelet.

"Oh." But then a thought hit me, and I knew I probably shouldn't have asked, but she seemed cool with my first question, so I said it. "You know they're in your head?" When she just looked at me with a raised eyebrow, I elaborated. "I mean, don't most people like, -"

"Not know the voices aren't real?" She interrupted. I just nodded. "According to my therapist, that's in cases of schizophrenia; I'm not schizophrenic." More silence. I guess it bothered her, too because she continued talking. "I mean, I know they aren't real and stuff, and that they're a part of me, so I _guess _that means I'm not, right?" She said looking at me expectantly. I just shrugged. I was sure my mother talked about stuff like this all the time, but since when do teenagers listen to their parents talk about their work? Am I right?

She continued, looking down. "Sometimes, when I'm really upset, though, I think a part of me believes they're real. Like, I normally know that they aren't real, but when I'm really riled up, and they start talking, I start agreeing with everything they're saying and I truly believe they're not hallucinations, like this morning."

Wow, she's really open. "What happened this morning?" I asked. We were both by then leaning on the wall side by side. I couldn't believe I was just casually conversing with a patient in a mental hospital, but hey, she seemed really cool, but all this talk about voices and her saying she isn't schizophrenic was making me curious as to what was wrong with her.

"One of the voices told me a nurse put poison in my food, and I flipped out. I normally know not to listen to them, but I was already upset this morning, and like I said, when I'm really upset I'm most likely to believe what they say."

"Why were you upset?" I asked curiously.

She shrugged. "Family stuff." And before I could ask about it, she quickly added, "Don't worry about it."

I nodded, and she smiled. "So Tsukiyomi, you wanna hang out in the game room?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I really need to get back to my- wait. Did you say game room?"

She nodded. "Yeah. We have this huge flat screen TV and a bunch of gaming systems with all different kinds of games. It's really cool. All the workers chipped in to get stuff for it. Your mom got most of the stuff."

Sure mom, I ask for an IPhone and that's too much, but a bunch of gaming systems, a flat screen, and games for the gaming systems is no problem at all. I know whose getting macaroni art this Christmas.

"Hey," She spoke again. "Sorry for stalking you and tackling you down the stairs. I was-"

"Riled up?" I finished.

She smiled a little. "Yeah." She said putting her bracelet on her wrist, and I noticed she made sure to fasten it tightly. "Well, I think it's lunch time for us patients now, so, I'm gonna go."

I nodded. "Yeah, and my sister's probably wondering where I am, so I guess I'll be going, too."

She smiled, and continued walking down the stairs, while I walked back up them.

You know what? I'm glad I took the stairs.

* * *

**So yeah, last chapter at the end when you read Amu's point of view and she was talking to the voices and she seemed a bit "out there"? That's not how she normally is in this story. She was basically having a bad day at that moment. Like she said, she knows Ran, Miki, Suu, and Dia aren't real, but when she's really upset, like she's seriously raging, the voices are going to come, and rile her up even more, and she's going to be really submissive with them. Like last chapter when she called them her friends? She was just really losing it at that point for reasons that will come up soon. Amu's opinions on the voices are pretty neutral unless she's having breakdown.**

**Please tell me what you think! I really wanted to make this a serious, drama story, but I think I added humor into it, sorry. I really suck when it comes to writing something that isn't funny.**

**Anyway, R&R!**


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